People Want Ice Cream, Not Advice

 

There are various articles,  You Tube gurus, and other pundits with all the answers about how to be a success and there is an unscientific and unverifiable checklist that has been going around as long as I can remember but it has been especially prevalent since I've been a member of the self-employed class. The list I'm talking about is the seemingly arbitrary. 

There is no "industry standard" in regard to the traits, and the lists vary as often as the writers do

Some lists are subjective and vague like the following defining characteristics require for success:

• Curiosity
• Decisiveness
• Self-awareness
• Risk Tolerance
• innovative thinking

I find the above list a tad ambiguous because anyone can claim to own these characteristics even if  they don't. It's up for interpretation.

There are others that are more specific and stringent:

• Strong people skills
• A willingness to work 18 hour days
• Listen to uplifting music
• Organizational skills
• Good financial skills

Some of the above qualities might also be classified as subjective but I think they are easier to define. 

The point I'm trying to make is these characteristics are considered "required" but the fact is, before I began Dollhouse Windows, my first business, I possessed painfully few of the listed requirements. What I did have was desperation. 

At the time, I was out of work, the unemployment insurance was running out and nothing is more motivating than the prospect of poverty and homelessness.

My first business was not what anyone would consider a smashing success but it paid the bills and put food on the table. It bought health insurance, Christmas and birthday gifts, put gas in the car and most everything else related to living expenses. As time went on I acquired some of the previously mentioned traits but I am a person who rejects any arbitrary list put out by a bunch of go-getting, over-achievers.

I never had an undying passion for window cleaning, I never actually "loved" my work, my financial skills are highly suspect, music had little to do with it (maybe my playlist and earbuds) but most of all I  still hate working long hours.

Am I unqualified as a business owner?

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend in whom I confided that I am slow with the admin of conducting a business. I sometimes don't send invoices and estimates in a timely manner, I'm slow to return calls and avoid emails among other things and his response was a definite...

"Then you shouldn't be in business"

After I got over my initial indignation of his statement I intensely thought about it and I realized he's probably right. A very wise man once told me 

"even fun stuff isn't always fun"

So, even though I may not qualify as the personification of a good business owner, the fact still remains I have been in business full-time since 2011 and I, like everyone else can become better at what I do.

Coming in Third

 

Several years ago I heard the statement:

Every third person is either 

remarkably attractive, 

 unusually bright or both

I'm encouraged by this because the next time I'm in a room with three or more people I can glance to my right or left and look them over very closely. When I do, the chances are excellent that I will come to the conclusion that it is neither one of them. If the formula holds up that means it has to be me!

I am the third person!

This is also a great opportunity, under these circumstances, for me to claim my uniqueness in a world of 7 billion people and among all those humans there is no one like me, there never has been and never will be. 

If I may be so bold, this to me is a rather shallow way of envisioning myself. It's something I would tell my 5 year old grandchild but is it something I would tell an adult who is searching for meaning and purpose at whatever stage in life they are in at the time?  After all, the drive of most people is to blend in, not be noticed and do what everyone else is doing because that's what we've been told is the safest and best. 

"When you find yourself on the side

of the majority it's time to reflect"

Mark Twain                  

If so many are striving to be so customary then why bother with being unique? There is a less-regarded syndrome going around, especially in today's modern American society called 

The Dunning-Kreuger Effect 

which, simply put, is the thought that people with fewer talents and contributions erroneously think more highly of themselves and people of greater talent or ability think less of themselves. 

A good self image is never a bad thing but I must assert that there is more to a person than that. It's so much more than what a person thinks about himself/herself. It's more than simply having tattoos, or multi-colored hair. It's more than the style of clothes they wear or the kind of car they drive  or the number of body piercings.

Look at my yellow socks!

A person's individuality comes not from these things but rather how he or she employs their idiomatic personality. What contributions do they make? What service are they providing? To go around saying "I'm so great, I'm beautiful, I'm smart" is wonderful but then at the end of their shift at Taco Bell they go home, sit on the coach and watch TV or You Tube videos or play video games until their next shift, isn't really saying much about their intelligence or creativity.

Believing myself to be brighter than anyone else I need to produce evidence as to why I think that way and not just say it.